Destinations: How It Came To Pass That I’m In Orlando, of all places!
May 30th, 2010 by Dawn Becker
Living in Toronto for the last 25 years I’ve never made the Snowbird’s trip down to Florida. Florida is a popular haven for Canadians, especially those in Toronto who suffer from the harsh winter months and depressing lack of vitamin D, needing to regenerate and rejuvenate. But I’m allergic (not literally) to bland, generic food, buffets of any sort, watered down drinks and large flying insects like Palmetto bugs. I had much reason not to be interested in Florida.
Florida happens to be the home state of my friend and colleague, Daniel Chimento. He was born and raised in Orlando, the home of the mouse, that being Mickey and Disney World. My version of how Daniel got me to book is shortened as this:
Daniel: “We should go to Florida together. It would be fun.”
Me: Sipping on my third glass of straight Grey Goose on the rocks. “Sure.”
Daniel, a few minutes later: “Can I have your credit card?”
Me: “Sure. Can I have another drink?”
Daniel: “Sure.”
Next day, I check my email and see BMO has sent me a message saying that I’ve activated my online security code. I called them rather indignant and insisted that I did not do any such thing. “Perhaps, ma’am you booked a trip on-line?”. Hmm?
And that’s how I ended up here in Florida, and in Orlando of all places. To me, as an entrepreneur, vacations are like having children. There’s never a good time so you just have to do it. Everyone deserves to recharge their batteries. Unfortunately for me, Daniel (pictured below) booked us two weeks out from my next event, the PROFIT 100 CEO Summit, so this has become a working vacation. Fine. With wifi access in most places plus my trusty BlackBerry, I’m all set to stay connected on the beach. My main concerns right now are whether I’ll get too much sand in my netbook and will my cabana boy remember to refill my margarita glass?
There is an upside to visiting a place where your friend knows the local scene and still has friends and family there. You get to meet a lot of people, like my new friend Ronald pictured below! Plus you can stay with family gratis, saving valuable hotel dollars.
After three ridiculous days working from morning till midnight prior to leaving, making sure that I’ve got all of my clients covered, Daniel and I get a ride to the airport from our friend, Jay Deakin. Jay (pictured below) is one of the most down to earth, relaxed, easy going, gracious and charming Brits you’ll ever meet… except when he’s driving and then he turns into a rage-infused homicidal manic. When he’s pumping gas, he’s annoyed. When he’s changing lanes, he’s annoyed. When he’s passing cars, he’s annoyed. When he’s tailgating, he’s annoyed. I’m sure you get the picture. And by no means does this mean that I am not grateful for the ride. But I am even happier that Jay lives another day to drive again.![]()
We arrive in Orlando an hour late, tired, and slightly tipsy from Bloody Caesers, knowing that we won’t be putting our lips to Clamato juice as easily in the U.S. Clamato is the main ingredient in a Caesar, a Canadian anomaly, versus the popular Bloody Mary’s that you’ll find throughout the States. Their loss.
End up eating at some chain place, the Ale House, by the airport. First mistake? Ordering oysters. When asked what kind of oysters they have, the server says, “Raw or steamed”. I meant what variety, what kind of oysters are they? “No variety just raw or steamed.” I ate one and immediately felt queasy. I have a delicate stomach. Delicate when it comes to crap. We had $3.50 pints that tasted like watered down pee. Snow crab legs, clam chowder, and prime rib down the hatch. Our total bill $50 plus tip.
Later, on our journey to Jen’s house, Daniel’s unrelated sister of sorts, which will be the first stop for accommodations he’s set up, I have to ask Daniel to pull over. I have the pleasure of advising you that I left my mark or rather the oyster’s mark on a side road in Florida.
Oh, but the revelry doesn’t stop there. We finally arrive at Jen’s house a little after 1AM. After greetings, Steve, her husband shows us the guest room. Daniel showers. I lie down and start coughing. I instantly know where this is going. Those cute little dogs and that cat hiding under the chair are getting to me. I haven’t been around animals in ages, unless you count Daniel, but I’m not allergic to him. I start to wheeze and tell Daniel I’m going to sleep in the car. Orlando is humid my friends. And it’s humid in the car, normally my respite when the indoors, like mouldy cottages, get bad. I’m short enough to find comfort sleeping in the front seat but not today. I am wheezing like a banshee and I text message Daniel that we have to go to emerg. He just took a sleeping pill but we take the risk and drive 15 minutes down to the Saint Cloud hospital. ![]()
Did you know there is no medical coverage in the US? And thinking that I’m healthy and we’ll be staying with family doing nothing riskier than beach hopping I decline the $40 medical coverage. One asthma treatment and $220 later – I consider that a small price to pay to breathe – and a prescription for a week’s worth of prednisone, a heavy duty steroid that allows me to not die the rest of this week, I walk out of the ER around 6AM. We can’t go back to the cat house. Which the nurse advised me means a brothel or house of sin in Florida. But I’m not allergic to whores either so that would actually have been better for me.
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And worse, Daniel, the fab event planner that he is, has our schedule jam packed including getting free passes to Disney World the next day to hang out with his mom, Wanda and twin brother, David. We need to be at Wanda’s house by 8:45AM to meet the free pass guy. And if you’ve ever been to Disney World, you’ll realize that an all park pass for four can run you about $800. There was no missing this meeting.
Exhausted, we decide to go to Daniel’s mom’s. She has two dogs too and it’s 6AM. Too early to wake her. So we park in the driveway to sleep for an hour. Apparently during that time Daniel’s mom, Wanda, woke up to walk the dogs, saw the car, poked a flashlight in and I’m only guessing here but I think she would probably have said WTF? Anyways, that was more or less Day One. Well the first 9 hours anyways. Stay tuned for more highlights from Florida.
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